Music is a lot of things to a lot of different people. It can bring out a wide range of emotions and evoke several memories from last week to 10 years ago. It's an escape. It's a motivator. Your favorite music, if listened to right, can be a different experience each and every time you listen, even if it's the same song over and over. Sometimes you'll hear things that weren't there before. Some of my favorite songs, such as "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" by CS&N, "Hold Me" by Fleetwood Mac and "Shine a Light" by the Rolling Stones are prime examples of this.
But it's no secret that Phish is my favorite band. They are not for everyone. They're not top-40, they're not catchy, you don't know what you're getting when you go see them live, they're not radio-friendly and they're not all that accessible. Which is precisely why I like them. I stumbled across them in the fall of 1999, thanks to the help of my good friend Kurt Mattocks, whose older brother was a fan. It soon turned into an obsessive hobby: snapping up studio albums, traveling to see shows, posting on message boards (A LOT), meeting new people, and just generally immersing myself in the Phish subculture. Although my obsession has waned slightly, they are still, without question, my favorite band.
I believe in a lot of things. Fate. Destiny. Love at first sight. Patience. The power of positive thinking. Being yourself no matter what (this one took me awhile to discover, and it's something I'm still working on to some degree). I also believe that - no matter how cliche this is - everything happens for a reason. At any given point in our lives, we're exactly where we're supposed to be. No matter what. Things get better. Things get worse. Ups and downs. John Wooden said "Avoid the peaks and valleys." Even keel. If you do that, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.
Round Room is the name of a song from Phish's 2002 album of the same name. It came at a very interesting point in my life. A point of maturity and self-discovery. A time I made friends for life and lost a dear friend as well. Phish had broken up in October of 2000, just as my obsession was building, and they had announced a comeback in the summer of 2002. They were to play a NYE show on December 31st, 2002, and that same month they released Round Room. It was a hastily recorded album, done in a few weeks. The feel and the vibe from the album is evident of that. But it is chock full of interesting music, particularly from a lyrical perspective (something Phish does not get enough credit for, in my opinion). Trey and Tom really brought some good stuff to the table, but ironically enough, my favorite song is from Mike:
My room is round when I lay down, when I wake up it's square
When I go outside it's on a spiral set of stairs.
The people that surround me are waiting out there
In a round room they can't find me anywhere.
Right angle rooms drive me crazier each day
Put me in a box I know I'm never going to play.
Put me in a square room and I won't know what to say
I want a round room at the end of the day.
I had an apartment, four corners on the walls
Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep there at all.
I want a curve to the place where I stay
I want a round room at the end of the day.
If I pass out take me to the round church
Where echoes resound
And my spirit is found.
And when I float high
Take my arm and I'll fly you by
The outskirts of town, to a garden that's round.
I went to the lighthouse and I liked the view
I looked out the window and I could see you.
Put me in a square house and I won't have a clue
I want a round room just to be with you.
When I go outside it's on a spiral set of stairs.
The people that surround me are waiting out there
In a round room they can't find me anywhere.
Right angle rooms drive me crazier each day
Put me in a box I know I'm never going to play.
Put me in a square room and I won't know what to say
I want a round room at the end of the day.
I had an apartment, four corners on the walls
Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep there at all.
I want a curve to the place where I stay
I want a round room at the end of the day.
If I pass out take me to the round church
Where echoes resound
And my spirit is found.
And when I float high
Take my arm and I'll fly you by
The outskirts of town, to a garden that's round.
I went to the lighthouse and I liked the view
I looked out the window and I could see you.
Put me in a square house and I won't have a clue
I want a round room just to be with you.
One could classify this as a nonsensical song about lighthouses and gardens and weird-shaped rooms, but I like to think it's a simple love song. A man is happy because he can simply look out the window and see the woman he is smitten with. I do not think it's a coincidence that I met someone that same year with whom I am still friends with and think very fondly of. Our lives have taken quite different yet oddly similar paths, and I also think this is no coincidence. We seem to have our ups and downs, and can go many months (sometimes years) without seeing or speaking with one another, but at the end of the day, I find myself thinking of her and only her. It's easy to forget some people, others it is not. It's easy to forget what you did last week, but it's also easy to remember things that happened years ago. Those moments are ingrained in your memory because you cherish them and the people involved. The song had not been played in a live setting since July 13th, 2003, and I had been wanting them to play it ever since. I was disappointed they did not break it out at the shows I attended in 2009 and 2010. I knew eventually they would play it, and they did...on January 1st, 2011. 1.1.11. I do not think that's a coincidence. It's a sign. Of what, I've yet to learn. But I'm patient enough to wait to find out. And whatever happens, that's the way it was meant to be. Once you learn to accept that, life becomes so much easier.
Round Room (the album and the song), in conjunction with the times and the person I'm referring to, will be forever intertwined - no matter what happens - as long as I live.
